Computer illiterate dolt

I can’t believe I have just spent so much time trying to work out the computer problem I was having. Days I spent trying different configurations, researching the web, putting up with inferior performance or with no performance. And all for … well, I can’t quite bring myself to admit it just yet. Give me time.

The problem:

My brand spanking new you beaut 2.1 channel external speakers cracked a narnie. Then the laptop speakers did the same thing. They both worked – sort of. The external speakers produced a distorted heavy bass noise with the right speaker not producing anything (except when I did the sound tests from the Control Panel – then it binged away like there was no tomorrow). I did discover though that my laptop can take 5.1 speakers. Great. The potential of having something sounding like a male Bjork on a bad day coming out of the rear speaker didn’t quite make my day all sunny and lite.

I disconnected the external speakers and went back to trying the laptop speakers. But they were contortionists too. Their sound was like Marilyn Manson on a good day. And I was playing The Carpenters at the time.

Let me say that when I first connected the speakers they were working great. In fact, so great I stopped watching tv and spent my time listening to iTunes instead. That lead to me using the computer more, fiddling with settings, doing a disk cleanup, defrag (the first since buying the laptop) and finally backing up both to the laptop D: drive and the external hard drive. Whew! This was all good, except for the newly developed distortions.

A check of computer forums to find a solution introduced me to a whole new language. I picked through the nerd drivel to find a pearler of a suggestion – to remove the external hard drive from the power board as its plug was one of those international travel adaptor styles. Wowee! This one change produced great sound from the laptop, but alas no change to the external speakers.

Time to  get out the box to repack the external speakers and come up with a suitable reason for return, given I knew the speakers worked when I first got them. I decided to play the computer illiterate dolt – the staff at the store had met me a few times so I knew I could pull it off no worries. (The tv antenna story is for another time, folks, so back to the computer speaker problem. Thank you.)

Now, it was a combination of something from one of the nerd forums, finding out about the 5.1 channel speakers, and deciding to give it one more go that lead to the solution.

You wanna know?

You sure?

…

Oh, okay, I’ve had a glass of wine now so I will …

I had been plugging the external speaker line into the wrong hole.

There you have it. Days I struggled over this.

The sound is all good now.

I’m now listening to Flower Lady by Linda Draper (a Phil Ochs cover). Nice.